Category Archives: nonster

this morning, there was a bomb blast about five minutes away from my house. apparently, our windows shook and everyone thought it was an earthquake until they saw ambulances and people driving like lunatics to get away from the scene. i slept through it as i had been up the night before catching up with project runway australia.

at work, during research, i came across a man who had lost his wife last year in a blast in islamabad. he has a blog in which he writes about missing her and his first eid without her and his kids and how he has dedicated his life to building a community for those who had lost loved ones in similar situations. i am consumed with this. it is paralyzing. it is makes me feel like my knees are wooden and my fingers are weightless.

this is difficult. this is incredibly difficult.



theres a cafe in the east village that has a blackboard wall in its bathroom. last week, i wrote the words, ‘we’ll be okay’ in a moment of what was probably fatigue induced whimsy and the desire to experience some o-man-im-so-deep-and-shit sensations. i dont know why that phrase in particular has stayed with me, i dont know where i got it from, or why i repeat it to myself when life takes a detour for the notsoawesome, but there it was, and i left it there without much thought or intention. today, i found myself back there, and found that my words, much to my surprise, had been rewritten:

yes x ten million.

my hopes for 2011 are

that whenever people ask me how my life is going, i can mirror the sentiment of this guy:

so far, so good.

things that suck

01. when ONE squishy headphone thing magically disappears leaving you with only one functioning headphone. this in turn makes all walks only half as fun. also, these things cost 88 cents on amazon, but shipping will cost me eight bucks. obviously, the day i finally muster up the courage to buy the damn things is the day ill find it sneakily lurking under my bed.

02. when lies to you, and you wear your nice shoes out, only to be stranded under an awning while your hair begins to freeze due to the hailstorm THAT YOU WERE NOT WARNED ABOUT.

partly clouded my ass.

03. when boss lady walks into your work station two minutes after you were reading this:

and have now moved onto reading this:

04. forgetting your unlimited metro card at home and being forced to buy more cards THAT YOU DO NOT NEED.

05. painful lappy toppy deaths with no charger in sight. its like an epic race against time which always ends in, ‘nooooooooooooooooo’:

just looking at this picture (and that too on a fully charged lappy toppy) is giving me stress.

06. when you ruin your own day (see all above), which then makes you an idiot:

07. when 1 through 6 happen to you in one painful twenty four hour cycle.


from omar khayyams rubaiyat

sometimes i forget that strength, and the sources one uses to acquire it, go far beyond being able to pick up heavy boxes.

i think we are geniuses the way other people are superheroes; in secret

things i miss about my life in america:

01. incredibly enlightening (and i mean really, genius) conversations over gchat shared with roommates:

back story: we had been having issues with our internet. resetting it required going downstairs, a task that we were only sometimes willing to do.

oh also, i was watching too much 24 at that point, thus the coercive methods talk.

i took a class in the religious studies department this semester about atheism. i also took a class on evolution. my relationship with faith is still in flux.

blue dot = navigation device on iphone maps. also known as how we get around minneapolis when seriously lost.

have i mentioned that during this entire time we were under one roof, in two different rooms?

brav/bruv = slang used which basically means bro. its a long story.

2. sharing notes during evolution class about how awesome science is and how nerdy we are:

03. people doing weird things just for the sake of being weird and different:

this entire lady is made of butter. do not ask why, it only exists to be awesome.

04. nights that end like this.

05. travel companions.

06. things that get lost in translation in amazing ways. case in point: this south asian song i made my american buddys hear. its about the coming of spring and colors and longing and love. however, if you get to about the 52nd second of this song, it sounds like he just keeps on saying, ‘im awesome.’ true story.

now when i hear it, i cant hear it any other way.

it was you only, it was you only.

i am not a religious person. in fact, i finally have the courage to admit that i do not have faith. more importantly, i am no longer ashamed or worried about the fact that i do not know which directions my moral compass should take me. instead, i look at my own life, and the people i have met and shared with, for answers.

here is what i know:

01. everyone should be free to be free.

02. everyone should be free to be awesome.

03. everyone should be free to be flawed and contradictory and weak.

04. everyone should be free to love.  expression is always relative.

or if you prefer, through song:

lyrics of the last minute:

with this grimace


sharing the pain

rowing the boat

asking for his blessings

waiting expectantly

countless centuries have passed by

only now has it been revealed

the one who you had appealed to

the one who held your hand and guided you

where your boat had docked

from whom you had asked for a panacea for your pain

the one who did not visit your temple

it was you only
it was you only.

to learn more about experimental pakistani music, and the amazingness that is coke studio, click here.