[originally emailed 10/9/13 as an art idea]
i want to share with you my thoughts on homosexual since you asked, but i don’t want these words to come off as static/flat in email, and am also interested in having real time dialogue/dynamic with you about it.
so, in terms of the vocabulary available to describe deviant sexuality, queer has always felt more resonate than say gay, lesbian, or bisexual–which, when you have them presented in this way, gay stays within the realm of men, as opposed to saying gay in a more playful, all purpose kind of manner. queer is inclusive, queer is expansive, whateva whateva. queer can sometimes feel like too much and not enough though, to me. yes, queer can explain/encompass my desire/s, and yet i sometimes feel that queer is unable to get at the particularities of them, too.
what’s interesting to me, with homosexuality, is that it is limiting at same-sex desire, but it does not have to define what that sex is. and this has what has felt liberating to me, as someone who feels trans(ish) in a non-binary(ish) sense (we are all works in progress.) my desire for men is the same as my desire for women is the same as my desire for transfolk. it all comes from a yearning for recognition, to have my body, and my want, honored/reflected/accepted. my desires are multiple, and my body feels multiple, and yet i feel a particular alignment, a singularity of attraction.the conundrum, and pleasure, of homosexuality, lies in the tension/uncertainty of knowing if your desire for another is to become them or to be with them. this strongly informs how i am/feel/relate.
all of this to say, i am invested in the reclamation/celebration of the word homosexual as a queer term, and want to make visual art around/about it. and i would like to know how you think/feel, too. i’m curious to know more about your thoughts on queer lineage. i think a lot about how i find myself within and outside of womanhood, and what that means to be part of and excluded from genealogies of queer women/lesbians. and also what it means for me to find myself inside and excluded from trans genealogies, too. and how all of these things can be held and okay. i’m working it/myself out.