dear mr pakistan,
whats up buddy? why are you cramping my style? do you not know how curious i am? i keep on getting facebook notifications through my email, but cant access the site itself. why? well because you have banned it. apparently there are some cartoons on there that piss you off, and should piss me off as well. but you didnt ask me whether they pissed me off, you just went ahead and banned the site. thats a little bit rude isnt it?
but perhaps i am being selfish, its just a website, not to mention that you just need to type ‘facebook proxy’ on google to find a billion ways to surpass the ban. though i understand the noble intentions behind your actions; this is after all a matter of national identity and muslim brotherhood and our international reputation. now the world is paying attention, now they are gonna take us seriously, now the rest of the muslim nations will finally want to be friends with us. everyone knows that the saudi’s are the cool ones; if this were high school then they would be the jocks, and we would be the anime kids. we’re just trying to fit in, the only friend we have right now is china, and everyone knows thats social suicide. and america just plays games with our heart, its like how the cool kids use the losers to do their homework for them. but you see, we’re on to them, this is more she’s all that as compared to never been kissed. and we’re better than that, so so much better. now, with this ban, its like we’ve lost the acne and joined a band and grown a hipster moustache; all the ladies will dig us, im sure of it. and what better reason to do something than to increase our mojo? gotta do it for the ladies, always.
ps: have you heard beyonces new song? oh, of course not, because youtube is banned too. but let me just say, you are really channeling her songs message through this valiant facebook move. we’ve got beauty, we’ve got class, we’ve got style and we’ve got ass-
-aint nothing not to love about us.
pps: for a serious article about this issue, look no further than the ever brilliant huma imtiaz. express tribune also has a great piece about what this ban actually means, and what it will actually achieve.
ppps. on second thought, i wonder if the pakistani government did this to avoid attacks targeted towards their people. in 2008, eight people were killed in a blast at the danish embassy in islamabad. according to wired.com, al qaeda claimed the attack and said it was in direct response to the danish cartoon controversy. but if that were the case, why wouldnt they just say so? that such a better reason. maybe im being idealistic, or ive just been watching wayyy too much 24.