so by now you all must know that i have a fascination with bruises and various other inconsistencies on my body.  any of my housemates can vouch for this, because i have taken off my pants multiple times this week to show each of them a crazy bruise that randomly formed on my thigh.

the backstory: this whole semester has been pretty physically rigorous, but last week was particularly pain-filled.  i developed two lumps that i initially thought were bruises but were probably just muscle tension and knotting–one was on my arm by my shoulder, and another near the back of my thigh.  on monday i noticed bruises forming where the swelling had been.


so, the dark one and the little one next to it is from the ice scooper at tea garden, which i bump into at least once per shift.  and then there’s the ominous looking one.  this picture was taken on monday evening so it actually looks a lot grosser now.

anyway, that’s not even what i wanted to talk about in this post, even though these bruises are certainly consistent with the recurring theme of random acts of clumsiness.

get ready. this is a good one.

yesterday i was walking to the campus center and as i entered the building i was focused intently on my feet because i was concerned about the effect of the snow/salt combo on my boots. unfortunately, as i heaved the door open i was still keenly examining my shoes and before i knew it

i had slammed the door into my head.

the pain was so acute i didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so i ended up doing both–that is, tears welled up in my eyes as i burst into a combination of laughter and a long, drawn out “owwwwww.”  and even though i had a massive headache for hours afterwards, and lost equal parts brain cells and dignity, i’m pretty sure i’m fine.

…but you know, i have to wonder how much practice i must have had opening doors.  push doors, pull doors, automatic sliding doors, revolving doors, swinging doors.. doors with all different kinds of handles and door knobs.. side doors, back doors, car doors, refrigerator doors, elevator doors.. doors that you have to be gentle with or else the door knob falls off (nonster’s bedroom door), doors you have to push against with all your bodily strength (art building doors).  i mean, that is a lot of doors.  you would think that by now i could open one without hitting myself in the face with it.



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