today, i am angry.
which means that this post is going to be both choppy and rambly, and i don’t care because being angry makes me plant my feet firmly and tell the world to fuck off.
i am angry at people who take up too much space with their bodies and voices, making me feel like i have less air to breathe, like i have to walk gingerly in places that i should be stomping around, leaving craters instead of footprints.
i am angry at being singled out for group failures, and being made to feel like i am less of a contributor, performer, and scholar than those who stand next to and alongside me; that there are clearly power dynamics at play here because you are older and louder and bigger than me; that you have tenure and i don’t even have a degree, which gives you license for criticism, however unfair or misguided it may be. i am angry that you accuse me of not being fully present when you’re not even paying attention.
i am angry because this is being written on a blog instead of being shouted in your faces.