the following is something i wrote over half a year ago, and i’m reposting it here because although i was in a completely different moment then, angst is one of those things that transcends time and space, you know?
Long-distance loving is a compromise that I’m not sure I can make.*
It means always having to settle: being satisfied with wake-up calls instead of easing into the day with whispers and feathery touches, late-night goodnight texts instead of pretzeled bodies and sweet dream kisses, and heavily-edited emails instead of hidden notes in unexpected places.
Tenderness is lost in translation, tangled up in miles of invisible wires and internet connections. Add to that the filtering process, the multiple checkpoints from my heart to your ears, and we’re left with mutedness and garbled transmissions.
With long-distance, everything is a story waiting to be told, and sometimes, I’m just tired of talking.
*as it turns out, there are some compromises that i Can make, even though they suck.