londa wanted picture frames, i wanted candles and blinds. we arrived at the big blue box building at about two in the afternoon, me needing breakfast, londs needing lunch. londs got swedish meatballs (with extra meatballs, obviously) and i got chicken tenders and splurged on a round green looking dessert that was named ‘princess cake’. we finished the meal off with lingen (sp?) berry juice. we decided to share.
the meals were not finished, but our stomachs had admitted defeat and we were left eating green cake (that melted in your mouth) even though we knew we would regret it later. we’ll walk it off i said, we couldn’t let all the food go to waste. the plan was to leisurely saunter around the store, looking at furniture that we couldnt afford and home essentials that we didnt really need. we moved from one showroom to the next, staring longingly at desks and sofas and red and silver christmas decorations. londs asked me if i ever wanted to own a house, and i said i would rather live in an apartment by the ocean, it was safe and the views were great. i spent the first eighteen years of my life in a too small apartment that faced the arabian sea, and planned on one day returning to a similar living situation. londs wants a house, i want to live with her in her house. londs has a way of making me feel safe wherever i am, and i like being with her because she offers comforts that i had all but given up on when i left home three years ago. we want to be home makers, with orange table settings and flowery quilt covers. we hope to entertain and have dinners- i want to be a fancy lady who has flowers in her house for no rhyme or reason and has fresh fruit on her dining table. i really really want to get into growing and tending, i fantasize about growing chillies in my own back yard one day. londs doesnt eat spicy food but i know that she will support me in this endeavor. i also know that ill probably never end up growing my own chillies, but one can always wonder/hope.
i yearn to be grounded.