carrying sandbags

on days like today, my body feels like extra baggage.

it’s cold, it’s rain-turned-snowy; everything is wet.  i overslept because my body didn’t want to face the outside world, so instead of the bus i borrowed carlita.  i wore the rubber rain boots that give me a sense of invincibility in the face of precipitation, but the lack of ankle dexterity made driving difficult and clunky. and right now i can only really feel 75% of my body because of the cold (and poor circulation, perhaps?).

on the bright side, i am still an amazing parallel park-er.

i have a lot of fantastical dreams about grace and strength and precision.  i am currently working on being able to own–not just occupy–space, but sometimes filling the air around me feels like too weighted a task so i retreat into my awkward, fumbling, self.

i’ve been spending a lot of time looking into mirrors.  not in a movie cliche, examining-my-pores-and-picking-at-my-blemishes-in-a-magnifying-mirror way.. more like a floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, THIS IS YOUR BODY AND THIS IS WHAT IT DOES kind of scene.

it has made me notice the geometry of my body, full of shapes and angles and curves.

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