carrying sandbags

on days like today, my body feels like extra baggage.

it’s cold, it’s rain-turned-snowy; everything is wet.  i overslept because my body didn’t want to face the outside world, so instead of the bus i borrowed carlita.  i wore the rubber rain boots that give me a sense of invincibility in the face of precipitation, but the lack of ankle dexterity made driving difficult and clunky. and right now i can only really feel 75% of my body because of the cold (and poor circulation, perhaps?).

on the bright side, i am still an amazing parallel park-er.

i have a lot of fantastical dreams about grace and strength and precision.  i am currently working on being able to own–not just occupy–space, but sometimes filling the air around me feels like too weighted a task so i retreat into my awkward, fumbling, self.

i’ve been spending a lot of time looking into mirrors.  not in a movie cliche, examining-my-pores-and-picking-at-my-blemishes-in-a-magnifying-mirror way.. more like a floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall, THIS IS YOUR BODY AND THIS IS WHAT IT DOES kind of scene.

it has made me notice the geometry of my body, full of shapes and angles and curves.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s