i often find mysterious scratches and bruises on my body. i was putting on a pair of jeans yesterday and noticed a stinging sensation in my right knee. i didn’t think anything of it until halfway through the day when i finally looked at it, and saw that it had been scratched raw.
i have a lot of mini-revelations like this. sometimes i look down and notice inch-long scratches on my torso, or my elbow rubs up against something and a sharp pain forces me to pull some contortionist shit to try to get a look at it, or my fingertips get itchy and then i find out i have a papercut.
usually if i think hard enough i can figure out where the bruises are from. and even if i can’t pinpoint it, i can always chalk it up to extreme clumsiness. the cuts and scratches, on the other hand, are a completely different story.
i learned awhile ago that i scratch myself in my sleep. some people sleepwalk. some people sleep talk. i’m a scratcher.* for example, i have a nasty scratch right beneath my jaw bone where chin dips into neck. i noticed this a few days ago, but apparently i was at it again last night; this morning i had to scrape off the dried blood that had coagulated and crusted over while i was sleeping.
i partially attribute the scratching to eczema, which has caused me to have absolutely no self-control. there is not an itch i won’t scratch (UNTIL IT BLEEDS. and then i will pick at the scabs until they bleed. lather, rinse, repeat). but i’m certain it also has to do with my regular action-packed dreams in which i have to claw my way out of jell-o or fight off zombies resident evil style or survive a school shooting.**
so i have these dreams in which i have to be a bad ass bitch, killing off monsters and intruders and gelatinous neon concoctions and shit, only to wake up and realize hours later that the only real damage i’ve done is to myself.
*i have also been known to snore but that has stopped, to my knowledge.
**seriously, i dreamt these things.