this morning i was on the 84 and a woman and her young daughter got on shortly after i did. the little girl was wearing purple and pink flowery leggings and a pale pink puffy winter coat with white trimmed faux-fur lining on the hood. it looked like something my girl dora would wear (pre-tween makeover).
there was nothing wrong with this coat, but when you put a small child in a puffy jacket it’s like telling them to give up on ever having full use of their joints. before the girl had a chance to sit down, the bus started moving and it caused her to plop backwards. it reminded me of when i was a kid and would practice falling onto a bed without trying to stop myself (why did i ever think this would be a useful skill?!).
for a split second everyone–including the girl and her mother–was too shocked to say anything. but then she started giggling like, check it out everyone! i have a great view from down here and that was so fun and why are you all looking at me like that? and we realized that her jacket was as much protective padding as it was a fashion statement, and we heaved a collective sigh of relief.
and when i finally got off the bus an excruciating five minutes later i belly laughed myself to death.
one crucial fact that i forgot to mention: after she plopped, she looked like a turtle on its back, arms and legs waving in the air. she was so padded she couldn’t get up by herself. it was like if steve urkel had become a cute little white girl–“i’ve fallen and i can’t get up!”
HELLO is that not the funniest thing ever?!